Show Up

I want to show up. I want to show up for my family, my friends, my neighbors, and whoever else needs me. I don't know exactly how I'm going to do it, but I AM going to do it. Right now I feel like I'm going through the motions and it's weighing on my heart. Going with the ebb and flow of life, the ups and downs as they come, is all fine and dandy, but something is missing. I can't say I've figured out what is missing, but it's something.  How am I giving back? How am I looking out, instead of in? What am I choosing to focus on, to spend time on. I'm neither selfish nor generous. I'm just stuck in the middle. I want to be both. I want to be selfish and focus on my personal growth and self-love, but I also want to be generous with my my heart and my actions. I want to be needy, but I also want to be independent. It seems impossible, but I know it isn't.  As long as I don't create some unrealistic expectation of what all of this looks like, right? My heart tells me to stick with truth. Find my real truth. That's a tough one.  Maybe I won't like the truth. It can be a messy, scary, painful truth, but I believe it can also be abundantly beautiful. 

Here's to showing up.